The Lavender Wheat Story

This is a true story. It’s my story. It’s bigger than I asked for. It’s harder than I wanted. And it’s full of a love that continues to make it all worth it. 

This story begins with the whispers of promise spoken by the Eternal Man, whispers that led me into the life of a quirky film teacher, named Ethan, who would turn my world upside down. Ethan was a brilliant man who led with a grace unconcerned with offense and an imagination that unleashed all the right things within me. Eventually he and I would fall deeply in love. 

And then one day right in the middle of dreaming up the brilliant future we would share together as we chased creative dreams and shaped a loving family, something happened that I never saw coming, Ethan died. It happened so suddenly. Leaving my heart and my future as broken and disfigured as the car they had taken Ethan’s body from. I fought through the darkness, wrestling with the Son of God through the night.

But with confidence I can say that never once did God leave me on my own. 

This story is not over, but I wanted to invite you in to see how it has unfolded thus far. I wanted to show you how love is always worth it. How God is a good Father who gives good gifts to His children, knowing just what they need. And how He has spoken profound promise in the midst of my pain. 


Chapter One

Point of Resonance 

Chapter Two

Manna for the Journey

Chapter Three

Molded by the Water

Chapter Four

The Wilderness Below Mt. Sinai

Chapter Five

The Promise

Chapter Six

The Early Rains

Chapter Seven

Hidden Art

Chapter Eight

To the Future & Back Again

Chapter Nine

Does Job Fear God for No Reason 

Chapter Ten

The First Thing God Told Me on the Day My Man Would Die

Chapter Eleven

The Second Thing God Told Me as My Man Lay Dying

Chapter Twelve

Worse Than My Biggest Fear

Chapter Thirteen 

The Third Thing God Told Me The Day My Man Had Died

Chapter Fourteen

Red Sea Words

Chapter Fifteen

Tender Words in the Wilderness

Chapter Sixteen

Stay With Me

Chapter Seventeen

Do You Trust Me?

Chapter Eighteen 

The Burning Bush

Chapter Nineteen

Let Me See Your Glory!

Chapter Twenty

Forty Days of Wrestling

Chapter Twenty One

The Promise of Bread

Chapter Twenty Two

The Power of His Love

Chapter Twenty Three 

The Impudence of Bartimaeus

Chapter Twenty Four

I Will Not Let Go

Chapter Twenty Five

I Want to Build You a Garden

Chapter Twenty Six

Covered: Part One

Chapter Twenty Seven

Covered: Part Two

Chapter Twenty Eight

My Shavout Encounter